I know I don't say much when it comes to us. I am afraid to. I am afraid that if I say all the things that I want to say to you, I might jinx everything. I don't want to indulge myself in the thoughts of how great we can be together in the future; the things we can do, the things we can experience, the memories that we can make. I cannot permit myself to expect something because to do so means that I have hope. And hope leaves me wide open. And that terrifies me more than anything.
