This Is For You

       It really hurts when you say things like that. Stop giving me all the credit, it makes me feel like a phony. Don't you realize? I don't know how I'll be able to ever convince you, like how you can convince me. You've always been the one that can talk. And me? Sure I have the words, but its inapplicable since I can't even say them to you.  I wish I could just forcibly open your eyes and make you see your wonderful self like how I do. All these troubles that have befallen you, well, most people would have made them as an excuse to behave...less civil, if you will. But you? Despite it all, you are the most beautiful person I have ever met.
       I know you don't believe me when I tell you that you are amazing, but you are. Yes, youre definitely not perfect, but perfect isn't what I want. I love your flaws, I'm not afraid of them. Besides it makes me feel not as crazy with mine. Haha. I don't care if you get fatter, skinnier, shave your head, or even, yes, dress unfortunately looking, all those can be fixed anyways. Who you are however, no one can ever replace that. Stop saying youre not special because goddamnit you are. You DO have potential, undoubtedly so. You can make a life for yourself, a good one at that too. All you need to do is accept your talents and use them. You say you can't write but I know you can. Plus you can even say them out loud, unlike me. You can draw too, don't even deny it. And you're smart. Both ways. Where as I'm only literate. There's so many things you can do, just stop shrugging them off as irrelevant because theyre not. Im sounding really hypocritical right now, since I can't accept mine either. But you're helping me inch closer and closer into really seeing them, and I want to give you that too. Dearest, it's ok to be selfish once in awhile.
       My selfless, endlessly caring, unbelievably understanding, creepily observant, collected, independent, seducing, flirtatious, ridiculous, annoying, stubborn, non reading, tall shaggy haired-golden eyed mystery mixed boy- I cherish you. I absoutely fucking love you so much, with such an abundance that I can barely understand it myself.  Your effect on me is at such a high immensity that I can't even imagine how I can live my life without you. As disgustingly cliche and pathetic as it sounds, I shan't deny the inevitable truth. And yes it gets so hard at times that I doubt us and everything we've gone through and what we can be together in the future, but always always always, at the end of it all, you make me fall so hard in love with you again and then I'm right back where I was-foolishly in love and feeling so dumbheaded for ever doubting what we have.
       I'm sorry for giving you so much of my crap. I honestly don't know how you do it.

-Love,

m.e.p